LIFE IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE

Life is all about balance. It is a principle which is universally applicable in universe and is a secret key to harmonious existence of every living or inanimate creation of nature. Let us understand this concept by taking few examples from our daily life.  A perfect dish requires balance of all ingredients in recipe. A perfect piece of music needs balance of all notes/melodies. A perfect painting needs balance of colours /storks on canvas. For perfect drive on road, you need to balance your speed according to conditions. There should be a balance of gases in environment to breath easily. A balanced diet is required to make our body and mind healthy.

Similarly, this balance principle can be applied to our behaviour, thoughts, actions and emotions. Whatever we do, think or feel, it should be balanced. Take an example of fear, which is a natural emotion and present in all species on earth. It has survival value and each person must have fear upto some extent. It keep us alert, active, safe and motivate to take quick action during threatful situation. Without fear, we would not able to survive. Likewise, excessive fear is pathological. It termed into anxiety or phobia. Similar is the case with anger as an emotion. Excessive anger cause devastation whereas no anger mean, vulnerable to exploitation by others.

A child, who exclusively focus on study, is actually compromising with other important aspects of personality- like social, emotional and physical growth. A person with over religious mind is ignoring his job, family and social responsibilities. A person may have an intense craving for money, sex, status, leadership, prestige, drugs etc. and may overlook ethics or virtues of life to fulfill his lusty passions.  Likewise balance in thoughts is essential too. Mind  is designed to think constantly, both positively and negatively. Psychologists never say that negative thinking is bad. However, if you perceive everything in black it is pathological and termed as depression. Balance of negative and positive thinking makes the life smooth and helps in taking decision with cautions.

Now the question arises, what is balance? How one can decide about the exact proportion of balance? Although the answer to this question is tedious and there is no scale or measurement for it. Still psychologists say, any thing which impair physical, social, occupational and emotional functioning is termed as excess or out of margin. For analogy, I give the following example: suppose you are hungry, and you feel something to eat. It means, your body has some imbalance of nutrition. After eating food, you feel satisfied and relax. Your body restores the balance.  In the same way, every balanced action, behaviour, emotions and thought give you internal satisfaction and release your anxiety.

Thus explore the point of balance in your life, by achieving it, you will feel enthusiasm, zeal, contentment and freedom from anxiety.

 

 Impermanence: A Universal Truth

From Buddhism Teachings 

Various concepts from Buddhist teachings are useful and practical from psychological view point. Among'st these, concept of “Impermanence" are being discussed here. As mentioned n Buddhism the cause of various Dukhas is cravings (which lead to clinging) for sensations, perceptions, beliefs, expectations, opinions, rituals images of self and model of reality. Also, it has been explained that if we want to get rid from our dukhas we need to terminate our craving or clinging to these subjective or materialistic  objects. 

Now the question arises, “How one can cease clinging”? The answer is- we need to understand the universal truth of Impermanence. We all know that everything in his world is mortal. Either it is an object or any organism. All that born or be created or existed in this universe has to be died or cease or change. The world around us always keeps on changing. It is not static. It is progressive. Even our body keep on changing every second. We grow, mature and then die. Our cities, our countries our earth, moreover, the whole universe (the planets, stars or galaxies) are changing every second.

If every thing in this universe is impermanent, then why one should have craving or clinging to a particular object, situation or events.  Let  us take two examples:

You buy a new car. You like your new car very much. You take care of it, say you fall in love with your new car. After some years of its use when the life of car comes to an end what you do? Of course, you will replace it. You shall buy a new car. You have to part your clinging and accept new change.

You have one of your favourite shirt or jean. You always like to wear it with great passion. How long it remain with you? After all it will tear. Finally you have to say goodbye to it, and to accept another dress.

But in our day to day life we find it very hard to accept new changes. Whenever there is a small change in either our personal, social, interpersonal or occupational life we disappoint  We still want that old thing. We expect, every thing should remain same. If we cling to our past (any thing in question) or unable to accept the new or changed situation, it hurt and creates lot of problems in life like anxiety, depression, frustration, stress and adjustment issues.

Whether the change is at personal level (physical change, change in thoughts, change in family, job, environment, relationship)  or at social level i.e. change in values, culture, norms, ethics etc., one has to accept these changes to keep ourselves in state of harmony with oneself or with our environment.

Happiness

“Happiness” is hypothetical but a useful concept in positive psychology. Happiness is a pleasant emotion and has very personal meaning for each of us. Scientists are now trying to explain it in an objective way. They classified happiness into three broad levels that represent dimensions from surface (superficial) to deep feeling of wellness (bliss). On surface level it is called “pleasant life” that mean a person appreciate and savour the basic pleasures such as companionship, natural environment and satisfaction of body needs i.e. food, sleep and sex etc. The next level is “Good Life” where one discovers his unique virtue and strength by employing them creatively to enhance quality of life. The example of this type of happiness is a musician who use his talent to create a peaceful and soothing piece of music that give him immense satisfaction.

The highest level is “Meaningful Life” that mean a deep sense of fulfilment by employing our unique strength for the purpose greater than ourselves. Here a person get happiness through employing efforts for making others life peaceful and happy. Example may be a scientist who discovered drug to cue illness or philosopher/saint who transforms others life.

Most of us, are striving for level I happiness and the other two can be achieved only when first level is achieved. All type of happiness brings positive emotions that are extremely necessary for a sound mental and physical health. When there is deprivation of happiness it leads to various illnesses like hearth diseases, hypertension, depression, anxiety, somatisation etc.  Introspection about what makes us happy is the first step to achieve happiness. Self regulation, self monitoring and healthy life style will definitely bring positive results in making life more happy and meaningful.

KARMA: THE PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

“Karma” or Action on which Bhagwan Krishana persistently emphasized when delivered Geeta Updesh to Arjun. He explained that the most important “Dharma” or deed of all organisms on this earth is “Karma”. A bird’s karma is to search for food, feed its little babies and train them to fly high in the sky. A tiger or loin’s karma is to hunt, arrange food for self and their cubs or to defend its territory. The same rule applies for human beings. A child karma’s is to study hard and make his own path, a household woman should take care of her house and family members, a man’s karma  is to do work and earn for his family, a teacher must teach with dedication to students, a doctor has to treat his patient selflessly etc. In this way nature has assigned role for every one in this universe. Even the sun or the moon or the wind or ocean has their karmas and they are performing according to the role assigned to them.

While preaching “Arjun” at battle ground of “Kurukshtera” Bhagwan Krishna clearly told that at this juncture your karma is to fight regardless of what your relation with your enemies and while doing this you will perform your true dharma. One more beautiful phrase he added “submission of your good or bad karmas to me” or do not worry about what reward you will get for your karmas. It’s really true we are not the right person to judge if our karmas are good or bad. All what we are defining is as per our own convenience or as per the convenience of society that’s called man made norms.

When we expect reward of our karmas according to our own definition and when it’s not happens as per our expectations, we get frustration, become anxious and fell into depression. Anxiety disorders occur out of the fear, that we will be punished for our bad karmas.  Definition of those good or bad karmas is sometimes seems very illogical. Hence, setting himself free from logical fear is the path to happiness, which is possible when we follow the true philosophy of the karmas given by Lord Krishna.

Ego Strength

In psychology meaning of ego is not same as we take in day to day life i.e. pride, loftiness or something equal to arrogant attitude. According to Sigmund Freud, human personality consists of three elements: the id, ego and superego. Id means all instinctual drives, primal, biological urges and desires such as hunger, sex, anger and seeking immediate gratification. It is assumed that Id works on pleasure principle and wants to satisfy its impulses at any cost. On the other hand superego consists of internalized standards and rules that we acquire from our parents, family, society and culture. It is that part of our personality which pressurizes our Id and demand to behave morally.

Finally ego is that component of personality which acts as buffer between Id and superego. It mediates between inhibited urges and desires and unrealistic heavy demands of morality. In other words ego regulate our uncontrolled impulses at the one end and undue pressures of standards and norms on the other end and let the id to satisfy its needs in an realistic way. Ego works on reality principle.

Thus ego strength is the ability of the ego to deal effectively with both demands of primitive instinctual drives (id) and unrealistic moral values (superego). Those with little ego strength are unable to restrict or regulate their impulses thus always give preference to self pleasure and interests. They show characteristics of a narcissistic personality. On the other hand persons with very high ego strength are too rigid, perfectionist, inflexible and carry very conservative and restrictive attitude. They always suppress their impulses and generally having feeling of guilt in their mind. These individuals are prone of high anxiety and obsessive compulsive features.

SIMPLE MANTRA OF HAPPINESS

When I was studying Forensic Science at Punjabi University, Patiala our professors used to say that the basic of forensic science is the uniqueness of happening of each event. Once a professor explained if you fire 5 bullets at once from same pistol there will be different marks on each shell of the bullet; and that why experts find  clues while investigations.

In our nature each and every person is unique. Each of us has different experiences.  This difference occurs not only at broader level but also at micro level. DNA which is the smallest unit of organism varies in each person.  Each of us possesses different pool of genes that make us different from others. If you analysis leaves of a single tree you find each leaf differ from other.

But all of us are trying to imitate each other. We are not satisfied because what other possess, that is not with us. A child cry because his brother or sister has candy or toy of different colour or shape, adolescents annoy on their parents because they are not providing them with those facilities which their classmates or friends enjoying. We want to choose our course or career what the other are choosing. We want to achieve those things which other are achieving. We never introspect our potential, our resources, our abilities or our interests. We want to sail on the other’s boat. We want to ride on the bus other are riding although we have different destination. This sameness is the cause of our dissatisfaction, our unhappiness.

Why there are several colours in a rainbow? Why nature has created different species of flowers, plants, animals and birds. Why there are different seasons? Why there are different variety of vegetables, fruits and tastes. Obviously variations create balance. Different note of sound produce beautiful composition. With different colours an artist can create a beautiful picture.

Thus the beauty of life is in uniqueness, not in sameness. If we are able to understand this fact, we can make ourselves happy. We will experience completeness or supremacy. Only with this acceptance we will able to focus on our path and will able to achieve our goals. This will enlighten our mind and a feeling of self actualization.